Human beings do not always suffer because of reality. More often, they suffer because of the stories they tell themselves about reality. The greatest battles are often fought, not on the battlefield, but within the hidden chambers of the mind where assumptions disguise themselves as facts. A mind that refuses to examine its assumptions gradually becomes its own prison.
Assumptions are dangerous because they borrow the appearance of truth while lacking the evidence of truth. They are shadows pretending to be substance. One of the greatest disciplines of wisdom is learning to distinguish between what we know and what we merely suppose.
“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.”
Proverbs 18:13 (KJV)
One painful example is found in 2 Samuel 3:7, where Ish-bosheth accused Abner concerning Rizpah, Saul’s concubine. His accusation arose from suspicion rather than careful examination. The accusation deeply offended Abner, damaged their relationship, and hastened the collapse of Ish-bosheth’s kingdom. A single unexamined assumption accomplished what many enemies could not. God teaches us that wisdom listens before judging, while folly concludes before understanding.
AN ANCIENT STORY OF OBIDI-AGHU-GHO AND EMERE-MU-UWA-GINI
Long before written books became common in many African communities, wisdom travelled through stories. Among the elders was the ancient tale of Obidi-aghu-gho, a name interpreted as “the heart that is deceitful.”
Obidi-aghu-gho was respected for his physical strength but feared for one weakness. He trusted his imagination more than the truth. Whenever he saw two people whispering, he assumed they plotted against him. Whenever his wife smiled at strangers, he imagined betrayal. Whenever fortune delayed, he blamed hidden enemies. His heart manufactured enemies faster than reality could produce them.
His beloved wife bore the sorrowful name Emere-mu-uwa-gini, meaning “What have I done wrong to the world?” She was known throughout the village for kindness, gentleness, and unwavering loyalty. Yet no amount of goodness could satisfy a heart poisoned by suspicion.
One season, traders arrived from distant lands. As was customary, the women welcomed visitors with food and water. Obidi-aghu-gho watched from afar. Without asking a single question, without seeking a single explanation, he concluded that his wife had dishonoured him.
His imagination became his evidence.
His emotions became his judge.
His anger became his executioner.
Consumed by jealousy and blinded by assumptions, he caused the death of the innocent woman who had loved him faithfully.
When the elders eventually uncovered the truth, the entire village fell silent. There had been no betrayal.
There had been no conspiracy.
There had been no unfaithfulness.
There had only been one unexamined assumption.
Obidi-aghu-gho fell upon the ground and wept until his voice became weak. He wandered through forests calling the name of Emere-mu-uwa-gini, but no answer came. Regret became his lifelong companion.
The elders gathered the young people and declared:
“The spear thrown by assumption never returns empty. If it misses the one accused, it wounds the soul that threw it.”
The tragedy was not merely that he lost his wife.
The tragedy was that he destroyed the very treasure he was trying to protect.
THE DANGER OF ASSUMPTIONS
Negative emotions rarely begin with facts. They often begin with assumptions. Anger, jealousy, bitterness, resentment, fear, and hatred frequently grow from conclusions formed without sufficient evidence. A heart governed by suspicion soon loses its ability to discern truth.
THE VOICE OF WISDOM
Faith teaches us to examine every thought before accepting it. Wisdom asks questions before drawing conclusions. Truth welcomes examination, but assumptions fear it. One conversation can prevent years of regret, and one moment of patience can rescue an entire relationship.
A CALL TO SELF-EXAMINATION
Before reacting, pause.
Before accusing, ask.
Before judging, listen.
Remember Obidi-aghu-gho.
Remember Ish-bosheth.
Regret often arrives carrying the answer that patience could have discovered much earlier.
A heart governed by truth enjoys peace.
A heart governed by assumptions manufactures unnecessary sorrow.
PRAYER
- Father, grant me the humility to seek truth before forming conclusions, and deliver me from every deceptive assumption that gives birth to negative emotions.
- Lord, heal every wound, fear, prejudice, and insecurity that clouds my judgment, and fill my heart with wisdom, patience, and discernment.
- Holy Spirit, help me to think, speak, and act according to truth, so that my life may reflect Your peace, preserve relationships, and glorify the Lord Jesus
